you are in a designated public place (so behave yourself)

I happened to land up in Gosport over the weekend, and with a couple of hours to spare on a nice sunny day, I thought I'd take the opportunity to have a wander around. I've never been to Gosport before (I do recall that I drove through it once, though). It's not the sort of place that you'd find yourself in unless you had a reason to be there, for it's on the way to nowhere (unless to catch the ferry to Portsmouth). But, hey, it's by the sea - surely that has to be good?

But, then, you know me: I'm always spotting the things that others often don't. And I saw this:

How's that for stating the obvious? (Although, actually, it's not factually correct: that's razor wire, not barbed wire. And it's a wall, not a fence.) But why put the sign there anyway? Surely if you're inclined to go climbing over walls like this and your eyesight is so poor that you can't see the wire, you're not going to be able to see the sign either, are you?

Perhaps it's there for health & safety reasons? Somebody covering their back should someone have the misfortune of cutting themselves on the wire. It reminds me of a story I once heard about an army General attending a three-day conference at Plymouth Naval Base. He couldn't make the first day, and so he took an early train and a taxi from the station to get there for the start of business on day 2. As happens, he got into conversation with the taxi driver and explained that the conference was titled 'Extreme Warfare'. "That sounds interesting" said the taxi driver, "it's a pity you missed the first day". "Oh, I haven't missed much" replied the General, "day 1 was just Health & Safety".

But, I digress. The sign got me thinking that I ought to start a series on here about stupid or nonsensical signs. And that got me sign spotting in Gosport. And, boy, does Gosport have a problem. The Borough Council, bless their hearts, are very keen to attract visitors to the town. But the reception you get is pretty oppressive, to say the least. I can't work out whether Gosport attracts miscreants, or whether its good citizens only have a passing acquaintance with the concept of abiding by the law. Or perhaps the Council employs a little man who has too much time on his hands, who therefore decides that it's his duty to boss people about. How else would you explain this one:

Because if you're determined to skateboard in Gosport, you're hardly going to be deterred by the knowledge that you're in breach of byelaw number 47, now are you? And what on earth is 'similar'? Has anybody ever been fined in Gosport for doing something 'similar', I'd like to know.

But it's not just skateboarding, rollerblading or cycling that you're not allowed to do in Gosport:

Look at that one more closely:

Why, even Gosport's public spaces are 'designated'. To stop you doing even more things, of course.

And in case you are tempted to do something that the Council doesn't want you to do (like taking photographs of their signs, no doubt), they're keeping an eye on you from above:

It can't be much fun living in Gosport, can it? Poor things.

Comments

[Daniel]

What a strange, strange place.

[Vicki]

I don't know, 'explosion!' sounds pretty exciting. The man's even running towards it.

[Tom Harle]

those signs are pretty commonplace around the UK these days aren't they? I wasn't particularly surprised by any of them. Unless they were all on the same street. It reminds me of that simpsons episode where Homer gets the health and safety signs put up.

[Martin]

I thought we had it badly here in Germany, but that´s really a heavy collection.
Public space = no go area ????

[Richard]

Ah, sunny Gosport. My brother lives there, being ex-Navy. I remember picnicing on that patch of grass behind that silver taxi, with my then nearly-wife and some cheese. Not exactly picturesque but happy days. Gosport has at least got a ferry and ferries are always good.

[Caffineabuse]

Well, its probably cheaper to erect a sign, than pay out a court setlement because some doofus hurt themselvs because there was no sign