when i first discovered that i was probably best suited to self-employment

It was when I had my first proper job (apart from being a paper boy, that is). It was during a glorious summer vacation from art school when I got a job as a farm hand.

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Not just any farm, mind you, but the farm on the 1st Earl Mountbatten of Burma's estate (although that didn't make the task of clearing out the dead rats in the tunnel under the granary silos any more enjoyable).

Now one of the cash crops grown on the farm were potatoes for Smiths crisps (a variety of potato with a very high sugar content, which is what makes crisps crisp). So early one morning a fellow student labourer and I were given the task of watering a field of these particular potatoes. And this involved installing a system of aluminium pipes the width of the field which were then fed with water pumped from an adjacent stream. And once there was sufficient water pressure, the pipes would oscillate to spray the crop on either side. I forget exactly what the reach was, but let's say it was 12 rows of potatoes either side of the pipe.

The farm manager started us off in the morning by helping us to install the system of pipes twelve rows in from the bottom of the field. He explained that we needed to water for two hours, and then we'd need to move the further pipes up the field. "I'll be back in a couple of hours" he said.

So 11am comes around and the farm manager reappears and says "Turn the pump off, dismantle the pipes and move them up 12 rows". "Hang on, that's not right" I said. "If the reach is 12 rows you need to move them up by 24 rows". "No you don't" he said. "Yes you do" I said. But guess who won the argument?

And there was me thinking I was looking after Lord Mountbatten's best interests, but all I was doing was making the farm manager look a fool. Needless to say he fired me at the first available opportunity.

But I still haven't learnt the art of keeping my mouth shut when it comes to following other people's orders.

Comments

[Joshua Goodwin]

Hang on... I'm guessing the sprayer things sprayed in circles, and doing as you suggested would leave kind-of squashed diamond shapes in between which wouldn't get sprayed. So although the farm manager's idea would have meant some overlap, it would have made sure that all the crops got a splash of spray.

[davidthedesigner]

Afraid not, Joshua. The spraying was in lines across the field (because the pipes ran between the rows of crops) - the closest equivalent I can find on the webosphere is here http://www.alliantenergy.com/docs/groups/public/documents/pub/p014709.hcsp

Take my word for it: the farm manager had a very poor grasp of mathematics concealed beneath a brusque managerial manner.