three things

There were two very thoughtful comments on my recent post about the length of a blog life - from dgthekneelo and Blue Soup. I was particularly struck by Blue Soup's comments about her employer: “I had become quite careless about my post content and one day we were all called into the boardroom and given a talking to about how company resources were tight and they were aware that we felt under pressure and that we really ought to muck in and grin and bear it. After that I was paranoid that my work grumbles had been discovered through my blog.”

It put me in mind of the ‘Ten Things I Have Learned’ from Milton Glaser (that I've mentioned before) - and, in particular, the first three, which seem to me to be the sort of advice that you could apply to all aspects of your life. For your benefit dear readers, here they are:-

YOU CAN ONLY WORK FOR PEOPLE THAT YOU LIKE.
This is a curious rule and it took me a long time to learn because in fact at the beginning of my practice I felt the opposite. Professionalism required that you didn’t particularly like the people that you worked for or at least maintained an arms length relationship to them, which meant that I never had lunch with a client or saw them socially. Then some years ago I realised that the opposite was true. I discovered that all the work I had done that was meaningful and significant came out of an affectionate relationship with a client. And I am not talking about professionalism; I am talking about affection. I am talking about a client and you sharing some common ground. That in fact your view of life is someway congruent with the client, otherwise it is a bitter and hopeless struggle.

IF YOU HAVE A CHOICE NEVER HAVE A JOB.
One night I was sitting in my car outside Columbia University where my wife Shirley was studying Anthropology. While I was waiting I was listening to the radio and heard an interviewer ask ‘Now that you have reached 75 have you any advice for our audience about how to prepare for your old age?’ An irritated voice said ‘Why is everyone asking me about old age these days?’ I recognised the voice as John Cage. I am sure that many of you know who he was – the composer and philosopher who influenced people like Jasper Johns and Merce Cunningham as well as the music world in general. I knew him slightly and admired his contribution to our times. ‘You know, I do know how to prepare for old age’ he said. ‘Never have a job, because if you have a job someday someone will take it away from you and then you will be unprepared for your old age. For me, it has always been the same every since the age of 12. I wake up in the morning and I try to figure out how am I going to put bread on the table today? It is the same at 75, I wake up every morning and I think how am I going to put bread on the table today? I am exceedingly well prepared for my old age’ he said.

SOME PEOPLE ARE TOXIC AVOID THEM.
This is a subtext of number one. There was in the sixties a man named Fritz Perls who was a gestalt therapist. Gestalt therapy derives from art history, it proposes you must understand the ‘whole’ before you can understand the details. What you have to look at is the entire culture, the entire family and community and so on. Perls proposed that in all relationships people could be either toxic or nourishing towards one another. It is not necessarily true that the same person will be toxic or nourishing in every relationship, but the combination of any two people in a relationship produces toxic or nourishing consequences. And the important thing that I can tell you is that there is a test to determine whether someone is toxic or nourishing in your relationship with them. Here is the test: You have spent some time with this person, either you have a drink or go for dinner or you go to a ball game. It doesn’t matter very much but at the end of that time you observe whether you are more energised or less energised. Whether you are tired or whether you are exhilarated. If you are more tired then you have been poisoned. If you have more energy you have been nourished. The test is almost infallible and I suggest that you use it for the rest of your life.

Blue Soup - it sounds to me as though your employer is toxic. Take my advice, find another who will appreciate you more - or go it alone. Life's too short for paranoia - you know that, don't you?

And if you'd like to read Milton Glaser's other seven tips you'll find them here.

Comments

[Claire Gates]

Thanks. We needed that!

[davidthedesigner]

Glad to be of some help.

[bluesoup]

Thanks for this post David. I have been thinking it over this weekend. I wish I really had the luxury of just walking away from my employer. I am under appreciated in my role. I am a bargain really because I am so young, but I have two years of management experience under my belt, both of people and print production. Unfortunately, when I came to look for a new job when my second year of sabbatical came to an end I undervalued myself. This is a confidence issue. However, the past 9 months have helped me see that they appointed me too low initially. I don't know how to make that jump up to an acceptable salary (in my eyes) without the leap appearing too big.

I will see what they offer in April. If it isn't too my liking then (after I have moved because I don't need the stress of moving and job hunting together) I will get on the hunt again.

I know that the money won't solve the fact that I don't like the company, but it might soften it all while I get more experience so that I can move on to better things.