David has very kindly tagged me and, of course, I'm flattered. Thank you David.
But - and you can call me a miserable old bugger if you want to - I don't really want to do it.
Here are five reasons why:-
1. I've been tagged already by that lovely man Dan - and his 'five things you might not know about me' were (sorry David) more interesting. After all, doesn't everyone blog for the same reasons anyway?
2. If we're all going to give five things away, nobody is ever going to beat Claire and her one-night stand with an Eastender. So why bother?
4. And if it is a chain letter by another name, believe me, I know about childhood cancer. And if you're ever told that your child is probably going to die (it does happen, but I hope not to you), your first (or indeed any) reaction won't be to start a chain letter.
5. "The juice of the carrot, the smile of the parrot, a little drop of claret" - I'm off to listen to Ian Dury.