my whine of the year

When I started this blog I promised myself that I would refrain from negativity - you know, it's so easy to fall into the trap of telling the world what a crap journey you had to work this morning. How you missed your connection at Basingstoke* and how the chocolate machine swallowed your 50p. Who wants to hear it? That's right - no one.

(*By the way, travelling doesn't get much worse than missing your connection at Basingstoke - the town once described as England's answer to Los Angeles.)

Now Ben over at Noisy Decent Graphics recently did a brilliant blog on The Design Disease. About how he gets incredibly upset by the shocking kerning on road signs and how he'll choose wine by the design of the label. Us designers, we all suffer from it - it's as natural as builders always needing six spoonfuls of sugar in a cup of tea.

But I sometimes think that having the design disease is like worrying about whether the trains run on time. Can you do anything about those road signs with the shocking kerning? No you can't, so why worry about it?

But I have to admit that just sometimes something really gets up my nose - and that's when I'm told that something is brilliant when it is, in fact, complete crap. And my nomination for 'crap masquerading as brilliant' for 2006 goes to the redesign of The Observer newspaper. And here's why:-

Now, design is all about getting the details right. I'm fond of the odd tipple now and again, so one of my Sunday morning rituals is to sit down with an espresso and read Tim Atkin's wine review in The Observer Magazine. And it upsets me week after week after week, because every single bloody detail is wrong, wrong, wrong.

Look at this:-

It sits in the top right-hand corner and it's called a 'signposting' device - something that tells you exactly whereabouts in the magazine you are. Just like a telephone directory will have a 'signposting' device to tell you whereabouts in the alphabet you are. Except that the wine review page in The Observer Magazine is usually just that - a page. And it's always about wine, not drink - so why call it drink? It's never about orange juice or ginger beer. And further on in the magazine there's another one called 'back page', which isn't the back page at all. It might be the last page, but the back page is the one with the expensive advert for something I'm never going to buy. If it was the back page, the contents page would be called the front page.

And the wine page always has four pictures of wine bottles - do you think your readers are going to mistake this for an article on pig farming Mr Observer?

And then there's that typeface - Avant Garde. Whoever sold you that as a text font? Look at it:-

Just how ugly and difficult to read can you make it? I know, let's throw in some minus tracking as well - that'll really make their eyes water.

And then you'll take some real care over the text layout:-

So if someone wants to phone Burridges of Arlington Street on 01293 530
151)
You'll make it really easy for them.

And then when you've done that you'll tell us that you're a world-class newspaper enjoying a ground-breaking makeover.

Well, Mr Observer, it's like the Emperor's new clothes - it's crap.

Comments

[Ben]

That is bad. Especially the phone number thing.

Merry Christmas.

[Alex]

I realise you don't want to be negative, but I personally find it really entertaining when designers get upset. And it's educational to boot. More of this, please, if you can bring yourself to it.

[Marcus Brown]

Avant Garde is free with CorelDraw! They did it in Corel David. What do you expect?